nofirstnamegiven Hamadeh Eng 1710
5532 Middle of the Forest
Cherry Tree Forest TN 38194
Mr. Joyus Almond
Complaint Department Supervisor
Better Business Bureau
3693 Tyndale Drive
Memphis, TN 38125
Dear Mr Almond I’m filing a complaint regarding a member of your organization known as Fantasical Entertainment. On January 1st 2016 I purchased the new Tru2lyfe game console from the Fantasical Entertainment store. According to the box, the Tru2lyfe game console had superior graphics then the PlayStation 4; because of it’s new True to Life graphics card. The box also stated that the Tru2lyfe console had three times more ram then the Xbox One. Unfortunately the product failed to mention the negative effects it has on society. Upon setting up the console, I pressed the power button. The system appeared inactive, so I went to call technical support. However nobody would answer, only strange prerecorded messages would play back. The messages appeared to have been in Russian as they sounded like something from a Cold War horror film. I eventually gave up, and went to pack up the system to return it. However when I arrived back into my room, a strange portal had opened up. Unsure of what to do, I stared at the portal until a unicorn passed through. The unicorn appeared friendly, but as I tried to pet it the beast opened up its mouth, revealing its razor sharp teeth. I jumped away from the unicorn and, tried to shut off the console, but nothing would work. I found myself running for dear life out of my tree house. The last thing I heard was the blood curdling screams of my family. Not only had the Tru2lyfe game console summoned an army of violent, sadistic, unicorns, but a light emitting from it had signaled an alien invasion. Flying saucers with pizza cannons began sweeping the forests, transforming many of my critter friends in to delicious, ready, hot, pizza (some off whom I ate while I ran.) As I sought refuge amidst the chaos, I saw the Guardian of the forest Giantess Luna Van Ichigo battling a giant robot. I later found out the robot was the game console’s controller (yet another atrocity committed by the console.) Luckly my friend Cariboo Moose and I fused into the ultimate forest creature known as Racoonamoose Prime. Together we were able to destroy the portal, and put the game console back into the box. Later the next day I went back to the Fantasical Entertainment store to return the console. However the sales associate told me he would not issue a refund, because I had already
opened the console.
I would like to ask that the better Business Bureau hold Fantastical Entertainment accountable for the destruction their game console has caused to the Cherry Wood Forest, and be held responsible the deaths of the critters who died because of the system. I would also ask the Better Business Bureau to oversee that the funeral costs for my dead family members are compensated for, as well as a full refund for the Tru2lyfe game console.
Sincerely Pierre Raccoon,